Monday, January 7, 2013

Being a people pleaser.

I'm a people pleaser.

I guess you could say I've always been one. Maybe I'm just more in touch with that side of me at this point in my life.


I want my husband, dogs, family, friends, acquaintances to all be happy. To the point it causes me great anxiety.


I've let some important people down in the past. Rob before we were married. My family when I got married without them present or knowing. Again when I didn't tell them right away I was a Mrs. My friends when I could not always be there for them when they needed me the most. Or when my actions had a negative effect on their life.


This weighs on me like a serious burden. I'm only one person. It's extremely unrealistic for me to expect to always make everyone happy and yet I still try. Day in and day out.


Because of this failure, unacceptance and a lack of general support hurt me to the core.. I feel it emotionally and physically. It completely hinders me. But yet I can't get over it.


I care way to much what everyone thinks of me and the attitude they have towards me.


I sit in this house in Georgia. I belittle myself and beat myself up for letting other people down. Who gets to see it? Rob. He gets the responsibility of telling me I don't need acceptance from anyone as long as I'm content with my decisions and actions.  The responsibility of telling me he loves me and is there for me.  Has faith in me. Feels confident in our decisions.  That's not fair to him.


I don't know why I feel the need to please so many. I don't know why the acceptance and the support is needed so much. I don't know why it gets me so blue.


All I know is.  I need to focus on making decisions for me.  My husband. Our little family.  Being confident in our decisions.  Our life journeys.  Even if they aren't in the best interest of other important people in my life.


Especially since no matter what there is always that one person trying to rain on the parade.. that one person not content.

It's my life, and I want to live it how I want to live it.
Source.
P.S. If this is taken as a personal stab by anyone.. get out of here.  That's not the point of this post.  If you feel guilt though, then maybe you need to look at your expectations of people?  Otherwise it is a general reflection of what I view as a personal flaw in my life.

Always,
Amanda

7 comments:

  1. It can be such a waste of energy to over think everyone elses opinions and feelings. But it's not always a flaw :) Love the quote you picked for this post! Sounds like you've got yourself a goal for this year.

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  2. I am the same exact way and I hate it. I worry to much about everyone else and it's really draining.

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  3. Twinsies! I do the same thing. To the point that someone could carelessly run over my foot with a buggy at Walmart and I'd apologize to them for the bump that my foot caused. lol It's in my nature to apologize for me, my children, my dog, that weird smell in my house, etc. I think it can be a good thing to be aware of others needs and feelings, but at the same time, yours are just as important too. :)

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  4. Triplets then, I do the EXACT same and Matt tells me the same things all of the time. I'm here if ya ever need to talk to vent about anything. I can be a great listener and totally understand. :) ((hugs))

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  5. Oh goodness love, I'm right there with you. My husband is always there to remind me, same as your husband. I always thought it was a weird obsessive thing I had and I've been actively trying not to feel like that. It's so hard! That quote needs to be my mantra! Hugs love! :)

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  6. Ah, I feel your pain. I'm the same way, though better about the worrying side of it now than I used to be. I suffer unnecessary guilt which I don't know how to get rid of and get over, so I don't think I'm qualified to offer advice to you. Just know that you're not alone in that, and in knowing that it's not the healthiest attitude, and in having to set the burden down once in a while.
    *hugs*

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