I'm a people pleaser.

I guess you could say I've always been one. Maybe I'm just more in touch with that side of me at this point in my life.

I want my husband, dogs, family, friends, acquaintances to all be happy. To the point it causes me great anxiety.

I've let some important people down in the past. Rob before we were married. My family when I got married without them present or knowing. Again when I didn't tell them right away I was a Mrs. My friends when I could not always be there for them when they needed me the most. Or when my actions had a negative effect on their life.

This weighs on me like a serious burden. I'm only one person. It's extremely unrealistic for me to expect to always make everyone happy and yet I still try. Day in and day out.

Because of this failure, unacceptance and a lack of general support hurt me to the core.. I feel it emotionally and physically. It completely hinders me. But yet I can't get over it.

I care way to much what everyone thinks of me and the attitude they have towards me.

I sit in this house in Georgia. I belittle myself and beat myself up for letting other people down. Who gets to see it? Rob. He gets the responsibility of telling me I don't need acceptance from anyone as long as I'm content with my decisions and actions.  The responsibility of telling me he loves me and is there for me.  Has faith in me. Feels confident in our decisions.  That's not fair to him.

I don't know why I feel the need to please so many. I don't know why the acceptance and the support is needed so much. I don't know why it gets me so blue.

All I know is.  I need to focus on making decisions for me.  My husband. Our little family.  Being confident in our decisions.  Our life journeys.  Even if they aren't in the best interest of other important people in my life.

Especially since no matter what there is always that one person trying to rain on the parade.. that one person not content.

It's my life, and I want to live it how I want to live it.

Source.

P.S. If this is taken as a personal stab by anyone.. get out of here.  That's not the point of this post.  If you feel guilt though, then maybe you need to look at your expectations of people?  Otherwise it is a general reflection of what I view as a personal flaw in my life.

I'm a people pleaser. I guess you could say I've always been one. Maybe I'm just more in touch with that side of me at this po...

Last year I wrote about how I wasn't going to record any resolutions per say.  Instead I simply stated "at the end of the day.. as long as I am alive and well.. 2012 will be a success".  With that I can consider 2012 a success.

This year though... this year I want to accomplish a few things.  I want to record them here and look back in 2014 and see if I came through on anything.  So here goes... My "resolutions" for 2013:

1. Move my booty.  As in... dance, Zumba, kick box, walk the dogs, walk-walk or something.  With that I want to finish the Couch to 5K program.  Last year I was just a few weeks short of completing it.. and then Rob came home on R and R and I lost the whole routine of getting out and doing it.  It's not that I really want to lose weight, although that is a huge plus, more I want to be able to say I stuck with that at the end of 2013.
2. Land a job.  The past six months have consisted of a lot of watching TV, house cleaning, dog rounding up and waiting for Rob to get home.  I'm kind of sort of really over it.  I want to contribute.  I want to be productive.  I want to leave the house every so often.. haha.  Not asking a lot I do believe.
3. Graduate.  Should be an easy peasy one as long as I keep up.  This last session was another session of all A's and a 4.0.  My goal is to graduate with honors.. and I am 4 sessions away from doing just that.
4. Practice patience, laugh a little more and make it through alive and well.

Source

Last year I wrote  about how I wasn't going to record any resolutions per say.  Instead I simply stated "at the end of the day.. as...