Wednesday, July 27, 2016

To the young lady that said "ew".

Me - in my unfiltered, everyday iPhone quality glory.

To the young lady in the Walmart parking lot earlier today.

You walked past me with your boyfriend.  I had just put the cart away and was headed back to my husband and babies in our truck.  I heard you say "ew" as we passed.  You may or may not have said it about me... but I've spent the entire day wondering.

You see today I got dressed in white mid-thigh shorts, a coral tank top and mint t-shirt.  I put on makeup, braided my hair into a fancy bun and I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I was feeling a little flatter, a little tighter and a little lighter as the scale gave me a smaller number just that morning. I walked out the door to run a few errands feeling confident.

But when I heard the word "ew" slip out of your mouth, it knocked me down.  I'm not a super confident person.  I am very aware that my legs are super white and a bit flabby.  I know that some of my pants give me a muffin top.  I know that certain colors clash with my red hair.  I know that my boobs aren't as perky as they once were.  I know I will never be a size 2, 4, 6, or even 8.

I've spent the entire day thinking about you.  I've let what I may or may not have heard and what may or may not have been about me linger in my mind for far too long.  You - someone that knows absolutely nothing about me - got to me.

What you don't know is I just had a baby two months ago.  My second baby.  That's right, this imperfect body has delivered two healthy, beautiful baby girls.  Sure, it isn't where it could be at this point in time and frankly it probably will never be the body I had when I was your age.  But it's a body I deserve to walk around in confidently.

After spending the whole day tossing that simple two-letter word around in my mind I realized I was letting it bother me more than it should.  My self-confidence should not be defined by what some stranger thinks.

I felt great.  My husband hitting on me, made me feel good.  Looking in the mirror and seeing my reflection, I felt confident.  And really, that is all that matters.

So yes, I have some work to do.  My self-confidence needs work.  Thank you for knocking me down just enough to see what matters in life.  Because you strange person... and your opinion don't really matter at the end of the day.

This post was written over a month ago.




always,
amanda
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Saturday, July 23, 2016

Summer lull.

I wish my phone took pictures like this... but it doesn't.  
Thank you Whit (@ Whit Meza Photography)!

About this time every year I start to feel that familiar twang. Our summer days have turned routine. Our time outside limited by the humidity, bugs and harsh sun. We get up. We go about our day. And we tuck in at night. Like clockwork. On repeat for days on end.

I'm ready for fall. I'm ready for the social clubs to start meeting again. The air to turn cool. The pumpkin scents to return. I'm ready for all that fall brings. A break in our summertime routine.

But since we've still got months of this oppressive heat... we are trying to make the best of it.

Last weekend we found ourselves at the splash pad with some new friends.  We happened to run into Whit and Beau too. And it was a lovely morning spent chasing after an unruly toddler as sweat literally rolled down my back... all while trying to keep a baby in the nonexistent shade.  My one wish is that this wonderful splash pad the city put in would have just a tiny bit of shade for those more inclined to burn no matter how much sunscreen is applied.

This weekend we are having our neighbors over for some grilling.  Where five billion flies will probably also join us.  But small steps people.

Summer isn't my favorite and definitely never will be.  When the nights don't even feel like cooling off, it makes life just a wee bit less enjoyable.  (And by wee bit I mean a lot.)

So with that I will count down the days to Labor Day weekend... and the unofficial end of summer.

How do you beat the heat during the summer?!



always,
amanda
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