Every year as we say goodbye to one year and welcome a new one, we look forward with bright and hopeful eyes.  "2019 was rough.  2020 will DEFINITELY be my year." Like somehow the change of the calendar will actually change the realities of everyday life.  But we set the goals, the intentions, the word of the year and we hope to make the changes to achieve all of the things.

In 2019, I watched people get pregnant and have babies after years of trying, open up businesses that were dreamed of on vision boards and make career changes, sometimes by will, sometimes not.  For us, 2019 was the year of new adventures.  I started a networking group that I am truly passionate about and Rob became the chairperson for the local Ducks Unlimited chapter.  We've said yes to new opportunities and it is something we hope to cultivate for many years to come.

So when I look towards 2020, I don't hope for much change but I do have a vision for how this year will go.  This is the year I turn 30 and celebrate 10 years of marriage.  This is the year I want to make about me.  Selfishly.

My number one goal for this year is to take more time for myself.  As a mom of three little girls, I am running from here to there and always busy opening snacks, cleaning the kitchen, picking up toys, changing diapers.  From morning to night, I keep three little people alive and then if I can keep my eyes open, I get time for myself at the end of the day.  This year I want to change that.  I want to go get a massage, a facial, a pedicure.  I want to whiten my teeth and do more face masks.  I want to get back into yoga and find more ways to fit exercise into my day to day routine.  I want to go out with friends more and read more.  I want to put more of an emphasis on me, in both big and small ways.

With that, I also want to wean Emily.  At the end of March she turns 2, and it is time.  I have been pregnant or nursing since 2013 and while I love my ability to nurture my children... I am ready.  Nursing Emily has been such a different experience.  She is the only one of my three that doesn't use a shield when nursing.  But in a way that has made her so much more possessive.  Heaven forbid my husband even look our way while nursing.  She's demanding and bossy and it is no longer something I truly enjoy.  My goal is to have her completely weaned by the end of February, ideally earlier.  I'm ready to put the baby making and feeding chapter of my life behind me and watch these little people become little ladies with their own thoughts, perceptions and goals in life.

Every year I add my blogging to my list as something I want to "do better" at.  This blog has always stood as a form of documenting my family and all our adventures and activities.  I want to document more and grow this blog.  Which means mixing in more generic posts, growing my following on Instagram and focusing on keeping up with a routine and schedule.  Writing has always been something that soothes me.  Sometimes though it is the last thing I take time for.  Focusing with the kids around is hard.  Focusing when I am tired and ready for bed is hard.  Writing often takes the back burner unintentionally.  Maybe (hopefully) 2020 will be the year that changes.

Perhaps one of the biggest life style changes I hope to focus on this year? Learning to be okay with saying "no" to people and not have immense guilt.  As a people pleaser it is easy to get carried away with trying to make everyone happy.  It is not realistic and it does nothing for my anxiety.  I want this to be the year that I learn how to say "no", mean it, and not carry it around with me.  I owe it to myself.

So with that my word of the year is FLOURISH.  The literal definition is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.  Which at this point in my life is my ultimate goal... to grow in a healthy way.

So tell me... What are your goals?
What is your word of the year?

And just for fun...
Grace's goal - "Do whatever I want."
Brooke's goal - "Play with bubbles."

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