Sunday, February 27, 2011

Quick update.

For what readers I have.

We survived our big weekend. :D  We had a blast in Atlantic City, New Jersey.  Between gambling and drinking, which is what we spent the majority of our weekend doing... we shopped, walked through other casinos, walked the boardwalk, walked in general, dressed up, ate some dang good food, laughed, met an awesome older couple that bought us a significant amount of drinks, won money, lost money, got angry at losing money, took pictures of the ocean, saw surfers surf, missed Piston, listened to the heater in our room make noise, listened to the shower make an awful screeching noise, listened to our room make noise in general, slept (some), and truly enjoyed ourselves.

It was nice to get away.  I've learned drinks are dang expensive when they can get away with charging $9 a drink if people will pay for them, bands are not always bands.. they could be a bunch of girls in lingerie singing songs that aren't theirs, losing money really sucks, the flats and heels I brought with me are not under any circumstances good walking shoes (thank goodness for the bandaids I remembered!), free breakfast is usually cold food that shouldn't even be served more than likely, it can be hard to find a bottle of water and alcohol makes you really parched and really really sleepy.

Now we are home.  Rob is crashed on the couch.  Piston is crashed on the floor.  We are all exhausted and it would appear that my baby Piston caught a cold while we were gone.  (He was boarded at a kennel near us with an indoor/outdoor run for him.. it rained a bit while we were gone.. may have caused it.)  Now it's back to school tomorrow, and joining a gym as well.  Plus unpacking. Laundry. Picking up the casa.  And giving my  doggie tons of loving for his poor sick little self.

Hope everyone else had just as enjoyable a weekend. :D

Monday, February 21, 2011

Holy poop.

It has been a long time since I last updated.  I will go with the excuse.. life has been too busy.  When in reality, I've just been thinking about far bigger things.  Like my 21st birthday (tomorrow), Rob's deployment (September) and our big trip to Atlantic City to celebrate our 21st's (this weekend).  In the time since my last post we have done maintenance on our cars, taken Piston to the vet to get his bordatello shot (his first time getting boarded will be this weekend for 2 and a half days), roadtrips to Sonic with both my boys, done homework, completed my first project this semester, cleaned the house, dang near caught up on the 3 plus laundry hampers of laundry that had been piling up, celebrated Valentine's Day, had 4-day weekends together, gotten manicures and gone shopping, but most of all enjoyed life.

There have been many pros like white rose surprises, delicious home cooked meals, gorgeous weather days where the sun shined all day and the windows were down, taking Piston to the hill to play with his new favorite toy (a simple tennis ball with a squeaker inside.  It goes EVERYWEHRE with him.), walks in the afternoon after class was out, taking pictures, laughing a lot, sleeping in AS LATE AS POSSIBLE, poker tournaments that actually went well, clean clothes put away, and cuddling up with my boys.

As well as cons... it may snow on my birthday, the dog knows how to squeak that tennis ball to the point of everyone going insane, catty ladies taking it just a step too far, headaches that last all day, kitchens that only stay clean for a day, the nice weather turning cold and cloudy, hypocrites, and too many tasks that require just a smidge too much.


It happens right?  Life always has it's pros and cons.  Well there is soooo much to do.  Not enough time.. my goal for tomorrow (as long as the snow doesn't ruin it) is to do as little as possible at home with a bottle of wine and then see my friends tomorrow night for dinner and more drinks.  Here is to 24 hours and 5 minutes away from being legitimately 21! 

:D

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Stressed, and my attempt at dealing with it.

Sometimes I feel like since I moved out here to this great state of Maryland I lost any former knowledge I had (and my Dad will say it wasn't much.  LOL.) of dealing with and handling my stress.  Like it all went out the window.  For the first few months everything was carefree and good.  Then reality sunk in... I had to think of going back to school and how, getting a job that I'd like but would make me enough money, leaving Piston alone during the day and not feeling guilty when his big brown eyes turned and questioned "why" after he'd been locked away, making new friends that I trusted and cared for and felt like I'd known forever.  It's all hard work when you think about it.  Picking up and moving your life to a whole new place is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I've noticed increasingly more lately (especially after the big news of last week) that there are some things I just don't want to handle.  For example, I don't want to think of all the decisions that have to be made pre-Kuwait.  There are at least 6 months before Rob will be on the plane headed overseas, but you'd never believe all the stuff that has to be done before that happens.  I don't have a choice but to think about this stuff now.  When all I want to do is lock it away for at least a few more months and pretend like we never received that news.  I can't think of the way Piston is going to mope around the house when Rob doesn't come home that first day, second, a week later, a month later.  It's going to be so hard to watch me watch him. Let alone deal with my own emotions of what is about to happen.  It's funny how my furry animal is all I can think about.  I KNOW I can make it through it.  It is going to be hard and at times I am going to just break down, but the dog... all I can think about is the dog.  The connection him and Rob have.  It causes me so much stress.  How women (and men) do this (deployment) multiple times in their lives, I will probably never understand.  Before long I will be one of "them" though.  Those women I admire for putting on a face everyday and making life go on...

Anyway, I'm getting off topic of what my original post was to be about.  That was all just a tangent, please don't think I am emotionally losing my mind.

Back to stress-When I lived in Kansas I tried to handle it.  I will admit I wasn't the best.  I spent a lot of time being awfully mean to my parents who did nothing but love and care for me.  Usually I was just so busy I didn't have time to be stressed or to think about de-stressing.  So it caught up with me.  The same thing here.  I bottle so many of my emotions and in true fashion I pop.  The smallest most ridiculous thing can set me off too, and nobody understands.  How can they?  I mean I don't even understand.  I don't like to talk about things that make me unhappy.  I never have.  In the past I've worked in job positions I really hated, been in relationships that did not make me happy and gone to school for something I doubted all along.  My biggest fear is discussing what makes me unhappy.  What if the person just doesn't understand?  So I bottle those emotions, everything from how annoyed I get with my sisters items in the rocking chair even if we just cleaned the house that weekend, to the trash being piled up in the kitchen at our current house.  I bottle it all and at once I just pop.  So I guess you could say I don't handle stress.  Or maybe that is my way of handling it.  I'd like to think that writing in here makes me de-stress often.  I may not update anyone on important things but rather the mundane things, but at the end of the day I feel better.  Showers also help me de-stress.  I can go in extremely mad and emotional and come out from behind that shower curtain calm and relaxed ready to tackle life's challenges.  It's not the best way to handle stress, but I don't know any other way.  It works for me.  Although it frustrates others, I know, by making them feel shitty... I don't know how else to handle it and I've come to accept it.  Most people just learn not to take my jabs personally and to not react harshly when I can't handle the stress anymore.  But that's not right.

I'm going to change how I handle stress.  Not let things get to me.  Like right now how messy this house is.. is really bothering me.  But unless I clean it, I will never be happy.  So I guess that's something I just have to deal with until I decide to clean it.  My job in life is to not make other people feel bad.  It never was and never should be.  I need to build people up and have constructive conversations not destructive.

Now I'm just rambling, but I will change.  You watch.





***Sigh*** I need a shoulder massage.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

An overview.

Well it's Sunday night... the weekend is slowly (and painfully) coming to an end.  It was a grand weekend though, I will definitely admit that.

Friday night we did a bit of a crazy shopping spree.  Tax return money came back and there were a few things on the wish list that Rob got himself... So after he got off work we spent many hours hunting down the things he wanted.  They were either sold out or more expensive at different stores... but finally we hunted down the 47 inch LED TV Rob has in his sights.  We also got him the laptop he needed for school.  And I got a new purse!  Yay!  Ha ha, it was fun though and very busy for us considering that meant a lot of driving from store to store since you couldn't get everything at one place.

Yesterday I got up to volunteer at the thrift shop on post.  I actually got offered my first job here.  But it's only 9 hours a week and $300 a month.  So no decisions have been made on if that is worth it.  Considering there is a drive to base and what not.  I mean it is some money compared to none.  So I don't know... I'm torn.  It would be good to work on base with people I know for the most part, but I think the job might be a bit of a challenge for a little bit.  But it's a start, so I will let you all know more on that later.  Anyway.. last night Rob and I went on a date night.  :D Dinner at Chili's.  Walking around the mall.  Then back to the casa for an Adam Sandler movie to wrap the night up.  It was awesome, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  But who doesn't enjoy a date night with their man?

TODAY.. I slept in. Cause after all that running, we were all tired.  Then I went to a baby shower for little Ryan and his parents.  I am SO excited for my opportunity to babysit that little cutie.  Now here I sit in the living room with the boys.  Watching. The. Superbowl.  Dur, da dur.  Ha ha.  Been an interesting one between Christina Augilera messing up the National Anthem and the Black Eyed Peas yelling, not singing the whole halftime.  Oh yes, well it happens.  Ha ha, or seems to ALWAYS happen at the superbowl.  But I love how the NFL does their shout-outs to the military and makes EVERYONE feel patriotic.  I love America!

Okay well another busy week of school and other adventures.  Hope everyone has a good week!  Rob gets an extra day off for his unit's "good behavior" tomorrow because of the superbowl.  So after class I will be spending an extra day with BOTH my boys.

Oh and did I mention it was nearly 50 degrees today?!  Um yeah, awesome.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Deployment.

Once again it has been a few days since I last wrote.  A lot has happened in those few days... One day we are looking at potential houses in the area that are bigger and better with a backyard. The next day we are buckling down with the decision of Kuwait and a year long deployment.

On Tuesday what is called a "whiskey code" got removed from Rob's profile.  Essentially that is what was keeping him here in Maryland.  It was set to stay on there for 3 years.  Basically meaning he would be stuck here until that time was up (which really isn't that much longer anyway.. just means it would be up next year versus this.)  Well when Rob enlisted in the Army in 2008 he enlisted for 6 years.  A bunch of people he went to basic training and AIT with only enlisted for 4.  Those people are now looking at the option of reenlisting, but can't because they have the code making them stay here on their profile.  (To reenlist they usually send you somewhere else to be stationed at.)  So the answer to that was to remove the "whiskey code" from the profile, and it ended up getting removed from everyone that had been here 2+ years.  That afternoon I got the call from him saying he had four options... Fort Campbell in Kentucky, Fort Drum in New York, Korea and Kuwait.  Well we weighed all of our choices... Fort Campbell was what I immediately thought of as the best place for us.  Until he let me know that he would deploy to Afghanistan almost immediately for a  year.  Then be home for a year.  Then deploy again.  Meaning he would be gone 2 of his last 3 years in the Army, since that unit is like the second most deploying unit in the Army.  Fort Drum was immediately out for us.  Too much snow as it is at the Northern point of New York.  He would also deploy immediately from there to Afghanistan.  So that brought us to Korea and Kuwait.  Both year long deployments.  Korea made me a little bit hesitant as they have all those issues going on right now with North Korea.  To me that makes it more of a combat zone then Kuwait.  Kuwait was our final option... and while it is considered a combat zone, he will more than likely have a desk job.  So Kuwait it is.  He will be gone for a year starting in September and when he gets home will have an option of where he wants to go.  Fort Riley was the first choice, but I don't know if branch said that would work out or not.  Fort Hood is our second choice and we may make the choice to change one of those to Fort Carson in Colorado.

So that's where we are today.  There are several months between now and September obviously, but a lot of decisions to be made in that time period as well.  And I mean A LOT.  There are also a lot of memories that are going to be made between now and then though, so I am just taking each day as they come.

I will more than likely take classes this Summer too.  So no matter what happens I will only have one semester left to get my Associates of Interior Design.  Then when we are at a bit more of a permanent location I can go for my Bachelor's and hopefully knock it right out.  Or at least that is the plan as of February 4th.

Well my lips are chapped and I am waiting on Rob to get home this evening so we can go out and run some fun errands. :D Then a relaxing cozy night in is what I am hoping for at least once this weekend!  Got a baby shower and the Superbowl obviously, but hey those are just minor details!   Ha ha.